Sunscreen

You know what I hate? Sunscreen. I hate putting it on, I hate wearing it, I hate buying it, and I hate looking at people who have it on. I just want to go to the beach, and not have to worry about some stupid star reddening my cheeks. Thus I don't wear sunscreen. In order to teach the star and my skin a lesson.

Everyone likes to share what SPF they wear with the world. "I like 30, that keeps the sun off me" some jerk would say. Or "I'm a 45 man," some cretin will offer. Or even "I like 60, cuz I'm a silly old biddy," some biddy will declare. All these people stink because no one knows what they're talking about. Except me.

Here is a guide for what the different SPFs mean:

15 - Wear a hat

30 - Stay inside

45 - Never leave

People should just go in the sun and get burnt. Your skin will slowly get used to it. And even if it doesn't it will help future generations by weeding getting burnt out of our DNA. Science!

You know who doesn't wear sunscreen? Dogs. Because they don't give a shit. Even hairless dogs never wear sunscreen.

If you believe in God you must realize that God made the sun to burn cheeks, and that man made sunscreen as an act of war against God. So you probably shouldn't wear it. If you don't believe in God then why wear sunscreen, because nothing matters.

I'd rather be burnt than greasy.

Screw you sunscreen.